Oh Mia, just read this ( not listened yet). You need to stop compartmentalising yourself. If you had a body part missing you wouldn’t be Mia … I only have one leg …….and you are not Mia with adhd. You are just Mia. Now at all times you are Mia the grandma who wants to watch the changes, the development, the growth, the tiny little things that make Luna Luna. I agree with not Knowing how often to intrude on your kids’ lives I still feel that 20 years after our kids started their own lives separate from us and I feel it’s different when it is your son and daughter in law, you feel it might be wise to tread a little more carefully ( don’t know why but it just is) maybe because men are not as in tune to those sorts of issues. Now I know a bit about babies and let me tell you they have no pecking order in their little minds, at this stage they just love eyes and mouths and voices that sing to them, they don’t care if you’re the milkman ( well they might if they heard the word milk). They just love the integration of you into their day. So these are the ‘rules you need to adhere to, don’t wake her EVER, fold the washing while you’re there, listen for the sounds of ‘help!!!!’ Then become a piece of Luna’s puzzle’. I promise you there is no score board for love. The more that baby gets the richer she will be. You are not ‘too much’ for the baby. The parents will have to adjust to the doting grandparents because that’s what we do.
That was heartbreaking to read, as I totally get it when you don't hit the right mark or read the cue's. But I was undone with laughter at the description of Clare patting you 'like a turd'. You are just the best. Love it! Love you! xx
Ahh Mia. I see you and I raise you side glances from someone after me saying shit I didn't know would upset them. I try sooo hard to read the room wherever I go, and probably like you, alot of the time I get it right. But when I don't, I beat myself up with horrible self talk and a stone in my guts, thinking i've been tactless yet again.
And I know about the pecking order, with my son and his wife having a beautiful 3-year-old boy in Perth. I am forever making sure I stay in my lane, but sometimes it hurts that I'm not 'the one' they come to first. Life eh.. i pull up my big girl pants and remind myself I'm loved.
Mia, you are not too much. You are a kind, generous and wonderful wife, mother, mother-in-law, friend, sister, daughter, boss and many other important roles. I think you always try to do your best in every aspect of your life and that is all anyone can ask for from you. Be kind to yourself..... xxx
I have found that there are times tears happen without warning and take me completely by surprise, with basically my face taking over. Often I get so annoyed with myself there are tears, but does that mean I can make them stop, or come under control in that moment? NUP.
When there aren’t tears, but I’m not sure on how a conversation went (more often than I’d like to admit), a conversation post-mortem gets picked apart in my head. On the drive home. In bed that night. Waking me up at 2am. Even seemingly pleasant interactions: did I miss something? Was there a look I didn’t interpret properly?
I’ve begun mental health self-care work, and am working on being gentle with myself, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and my ADHD doesn’t make it easier but I hope it’ll get there!
Go gentle on yourself Mia, from all I can tell, you are well loved in your family, and the outlouders.
That hit hard. The need to know exactly where you stand so you can behave appropriately. And feedback! I get f* off from number one son regularly because I just keep reminding him of all the tasks he hasn’t done (he, like all of us in this house) has ADHD. I need to know I’m doing the right thing at all times. Maybe Clare will become more emotional when she has her baby. Jessie already seems more reflective. March on. You are doing a great job.
Mia!! My heart I cried along with you. That’s an awful feeling to have feeling like your too much. But Mia the reason you are successful and your followers identify with you is because you are you. Perfectly and imperfectly you.
I have listened to you for over 8 years and have laughed and cried and cheered and felt all the feels along with you. I’m a year or so younger than you and have had so many parallels with you from perimenapause to my eldest son leaving home and my daughter being a young adult and thinking I’m silly all of it. I’ll never forget that piece you wrote about your son I read it twice and sobbed and sobbed as you articulated exactly what my aching heart was feeling.
You make me laugh and you are never too much for me. Mia you will be an amazing grandparent and I’m so grateful for your honesty and integrity and I think you are a pretty special human who Luna is going to adore and be so proud of. Much love
Hi five sister, been there and are still there. Just be yourself and let everyone know that that is enough. Don't change just keep bringing sunshine to each and everyone. If they don't cope that's their problem
Luna will love and adore you cos why wouldn't she. Who doesn't love a fun granny. Out and enjoy this precious time..it is unforgettable ♥️
Oh, how I relate - I do this too! It can be hard to figure out degrees of "closeness" and where you stand in relationships, especially when you are open hearted and giving by nature. Chuck in rejection sensitivity dysphoria into the mix - I've been walloped a few times getting it wrong, so leaderboard thinking makes sense.
You're a wonderful mother, wife and business woman Mia and I love your contribution to the complexity of being a mother with an ADHD diagnosis. My life is empty well potentially without your voice daily. Your mother is precious just like you xx
Your authenticity hits me in the feels. You really are a top Lady Mia, don't ever change. Now go and put some nice cream on that hand turd of yours. Mwah. XX
Aww Dear Mia…I love the way you’re overthinking this. It comes from a place of love. Your son and daughter in law are so very fortunate to have a grandmother who is thoughtful with an awareness of boundaries. I’m competitive too & love the leader board analogy. Just be you.
Mia, you are not too much. Mia, you are you. You are loved and loveable. I love how much insight you have into yourself and how caring you are to those in your life. Give yourself that same care and compassion.
This actually makes perfect sense. How else do we go about the world and judge where we fit, what's right and wrong (in an individual sense) without feedback? We are expected to hear and take on board feedback in a professional setting so we can grow, adjust and understand. Why (and how) is that different in our personal lives? It's an interesting and valid point, Mia and if the 'Leaderboard' analogy helps you process that, I'm all for it, so long as it's about processing where/when/how we fit at a given time or with a specific person or in a specific circumstance, and not about self-judgment, because you are an incredible human being, and the world is better because you're in it.
I listened yesterday & I could hear your brain ticking over trying to figure it out. And I think it makes perfect sense. You are wanting to be the most helpful, the least intrusive & the leaderboard helps you figure that out. Seems like a great coping mechanism.
Oh Mia, just read this ( not listened yet). You need to stop compartmentalising yourself. If you had a body part missing you wouldn’t be Mia … I only have one leg …….and you are not Mia with adhd. You are just Mia. Now at all times you are Mia the grandma who wants to watch the changes, the development, the growth, the tiny little things that make Luna Luna. I agree with not Knowing how often to intrude on your kids’ lives I still feel that 20 years after our kids started their own lives separate from us and I feel it’s different when it is your son and daughter in law, you feel it might be wise to tread a little more carefully ( don’t know why but it just is) maybe because men are not as in tune to those sorts of issues. Now I know a bit about babies and let me tell you they have no pecking order in their little minds, at this stage they just love eyes and mouths and voices that sing to them, they don’t care if you’re the milkman ( well they might if they heard the word milk). They just love the integration of you into their day. So these are the ‘rules you need to adhere to, don’t wake her EVER, fold the washing while you’re there, listen for the sounds of ‘help!!!!’ Then become a piece of Luna’s puzzle’. I promise you there is no score board for love. The more that baby gets the richer she will be. You are not ‘too much’ for the baby. The parents will have to adjust to the doting grandparents because that’s what we do.
❤️❤️❤️
That was heartbreaking to read, as I totally get it when you don't hit the right mark or read the cue's. But I was undone with laughter at the description of Clare patting you 'like a turd'. You are just the best. Love it! Love you! xx
She honestly wanted to resign in that moment 🤣🤣
Ahh Mia. I see you and I raise you side glances from someone after me saying shit I didn't know would upset them. I try sooo hard to read the room wherever I go, and probably like you, alot of the time I get it right. But when I don't, I beat myself up with horrible self talk and a stone in my guts, thinking i've been tactless yet again.
And I know about the pecking order, with my son and his wife having a beautiful 3-year-old boy in Perth. I am forever making sure I stay in my lane, but sometimes it hurts that I'm not 'the one' they come to first. Life eh.. i pull up my big girl pants and remind myself I'm loved.
I want someone to actually draw my lane in pink paint on the ground so I can see it!
Mia, you are not too much. You are a kind, generous and wonderful wife, mother, mother-in-law, friend, sister, daughter, boss and many other important roles. I think you always try to do your best in every aspect of your life and that is all anyone can ask for from you. Be kind to yourself..... xxx
Thank you Lucy
I have found that there are times tears happen without warning and take me completely by surprise, with basically my face taking over. Often I get so annoyed with myself there are tears, but does that mean I can make them stop, or come under control in that moment? NUP.
When there aren’t tears, but I’m not sure on how a conversation went (more often than I’d like to admit), a conversation post-mortem gets picked apart in my head. On the drive home. In bed that night. Waking me up at 2am. Even seemingly pleasant interactions: did I miss something? Was there a look I didn’t interpret properly?
I’ve begun mental health self-care work, and am working on being gentle with myself, but Rome wasn't built in a day, and my ADHD doesn’t make it easier but I hope it’ll get there!
Go gentle on yourself Mia, from all I can tell, you are well loved in your family, and the outlouders.
That hit hard. The need to know exactly where you stand so you can behave appropriately. And feedback! I get f* off from number one son regularly because I just keep reminding him of all the tasks he hasn’t done (he, like all of us in this house) has ADHD. I need to know I’m doing the right thing at all times. Maybe Clare will become more emotional when she has her baby. Jessie already seems more reflective. March on. You are doing a great job.
Mia!! My heart I cried along with you. That’s an awful feeling to have feeling like your too much. But Mia the reason you are successful and your followers identify with you is because you are you. Perfectly and imperfectly you.
I have listened to you for over 8 years and have laughed and cried and cheered and felt all the feels along with you. I’m a year or so younger than you and have had so many parallels with you from perimenapause to my eldest son leaving home and my daughter being a young adult and thinking I’m silly all of it. I’ll never forget that piece you wrote about your son I read it twice and sobbed and sobbed as you articulated exactly what my aching heart was feeling.
You make me laugh and you are never too much for me. Mia you will be an amazing grandparent and I’m so grateful for your honesty and integrity and I think you are a pretty special human who Luna is going to adore and be so proud of. Much love
N❌
Hi five sister, been there and are still there. Just be yourself and let everyone know that that is enough. Don't change just keep bringing sunshine to each and everyone. If they don't cope that's their problem
Luna will love and adore you cos why wouldn't she. Who doesn't love a fun granny. Out and enjoy this precious time..it is unforgettable ♥️
Great letter Mia! You sharing your pain is helpful to others...
Oh, how I relate - I do this too! It can be hard to figure out degrees of "closeness" and where you stand in relationships, especially when you are open hearted and giving by nature. Chuck in rejection sensitivity dysphoria into the mix - I've been walloped a few times getting it wrong, so leaderboard thinking makes sense.
Thank you for your vulnerable share, Mia :)
🙌🏻🙌🏻
You're a wonderful mother, wife and business woman Mia and I love your contribution to the complexity of being a mother with an ADHD diagnosis. My life is empty well potentially without your voice daily. Your mother is precious just like you xx
😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰
Your authenticity hits me in the feels. You really are a top Lady Mia, don't ever change. Now go and put some nice cream on that hand turd of yours. Mwah. XX
That’s so lovely xxx
Aww Dear Mia…I love the way you’re overthinking this. It comes from a place of love. Your son and daughter in law are so very fortunate to have a grandmother who is thoughtful with an awareness of boundaries. I’m competitive too & love the leader board analogy. Just be you.
I overthink it don’t I!!!???
Mia, you are not too much. Mia, you are you. You are loved and loveable. I love how much insight you have into yourself and how caring you are to those in your life. Give yourself that same care and compassion.
❤️❤️
This actually makes perfect sense. How else do we go about the world and judge where we fit, what's right and wrong (in an individual sense) without feedback? We are expected to hear and take on board feedback in a professional setting so we can grow, adjust and understand. Why (and how) is that different in our personal lives? It's an interesting and valid point, Mia and if the 'Leaderboard' analogy helps you process that, I'm all for it, so long as it's about processing where/when/how we fit at a given time or with a specific person or in a specific circumstance, and not about self-judgment, because you are an incredible human being, and the world is better because you're in it.
My biggest fear: overstepping!
I listened yesterday & I could hear your brain ticking over trying to figure it out. And I think it makes perfect sense. You are wanting to be the most helpful, the least intrusive & the leaderboard helps you figure that out. Seems like a great coping mechanism.
Hahaha - yes my brain is loud