I have a friend who is addicted to getting stuff done. She’s desperately trying to claw herself back in time by constantly lasering and injecting her face and is always trying the latest procedure . She even had Botox in her shoulders recently as they ‘looked funny.’ I sit opposite her at dinner and think ‘should I be doing all of this?’ I tried Botox and didn’t really like it. Only have the odd facial. I do find it exhausting her constant pursuit of an ideal she’ll never find. I’d rather walk the dog and move my body and appreciate moments like this. X
This is in line with my recent ruminations about ageism in society. We say “old” as an insult and frequently use it in a self deprecating manner. It’s something we are ashamed about and want to hide, and as discussed here we have more tools than ever to do so.... if we have the $$. I am feeling very very confused not only about the options you talk about, but whether I see old as something to embrace or run from. I definitely don’t want to be back in my 20s or 30s- and i don’t want to lose any more of my life energy I have in my late 40s. Maybe that’s what this is all about? We don’t want to look tired? Is old unattractive?or is it low energy that is scary? Help!!
Oh Mia, I hear you! I am 61 and have always been told I "don't look my age" . But I think I've aged a lot in the past couple of years and do not like what I see in the mirror. I obsessively look at celebrities around my age and it depresses me. Intellectually, I know they are "tweaking" in all sorts of ways but, psychologically, it makes me feel very second rate. However, my ant-ageist self says to stay strong and ignore these women with their impossibly high (and unfair) standards. And remind myself that they all look the same....
I swing between obsessing over the person looking back at me in the mirror and them not looking how I want/expect them to look, and giving up and really not giving a shit! I love the wise words I heard in a Virgin River episode on the weekend!! - “Everyone gets to be young, but not everyone is lucky enough to grow old.” I am trying to live by that sentiment from now on and just enjoy the ride!
This is so true and let me tell you it’s a battle I face every day as an owner of a skin clinic. I want to grow my business but I don’t want to pray on women’s vulnerabilities but also I need their money to survive and pay my employees and also the treatments we offer are amazing but do you really need them but also please have them and here is a serum that will change your life but it’s $280 but please buy the eye cream to go with it but really you’re beautiful just the way you are but also can I make your next appointment now and have you heard about mesotherapy it’s amazing but you just had Botox so wait a month first so just use the $280 serum in between and tell your friends about us! so on and so on and so on….
I’m 71 and I don’t look it. Does it matter to me? Yes it does. Ageism is alive and well out there. Plus I want to like what I see in the mirror. It’s an aesthetic thing. I stay slim and look after my skin. I do not spend a fortune. I got a facelift when I was sixty and had it done in Manila. I researched the hell out of it first and wrote copious emails to my plastic surgeon. I love the results and they’ve held up well. I buy serums mostly from The Ordinary brand. I wear a hair topper because my hair is thinning. I don’t do filler or Botox but I did get fat transfer when I got my facelift. I do low carb eating every few months for a few weeks to maintain my weight. I use Tretinoin.05% imported from an overseas chemist and have done for years. If you do one thing do that. I tell my age and take the risk of being judged as too old to matter but my youthful vibe and energy prove I’ve been blessed with good health and a good attitude. You do you and I’ll do me. It’s a choice we all have and my body while slim still shows the effects of 3 pregnancies. So be it - I can live with that.
So many choices. It’s going to be interesting times ahead when the choice of how we look may conflict with the ability to live in stable housing. Particularly as we age.
I have a definite line in the sand with the options I would choose as I age. Grey hair? not for me, or not at this stage of my life anyway. I am in my mid 50's and have quite a few friends who have happily gone grey and it looks great. I just think I would freak out and not recognise myself if I went grey. I am happy to be blonde. With regards to interventions, a sprinkle of botox a couple of times a year to blur the tired and angry lines is all I would do. I definitely do not make these choices to try to stop the clock and look decades younger. I have no desire to look anything other than myself.
I started going grey at 23 but didn’t stop dyeing my hair until I was 39. I’m now happily salt & pepper. But I use skincare to keep my skin looking nicer than what it would look like if I used nothing.
I’m happy to look my age but funnily over the weekend I seen someone I hadn’t seen in about 16 years & they told me “ I hadn’t changed” which made me feel really good. I must have been about 28 the last time I’d seen them which made me think that if I was so happy looking my age why did it make me feel good to be told I still look the way I did at 28?
I struggle less with my face than I do with my body. I’ve gained lots of weight this past year & while I don’t want to diet anymore I still find it hard to accept my larger body.
I’m currently slathering my body with Castor Oil lol. Feels like shit but my skin looks good!! I was hoping to care much less after turning fifty - and I do a bit - but where does it all stop??? And as for the weight - fuck dieting xxx
I have a friend who is addicted to getting stuff done. She’s desperately trying to claw herself back in time by constantly lasering and injecting her face and is always trying the latest procedure . She even had Botox in her shoulders recently as they ‘looked funny.’ I sit opposite her at dinner and think ‘should I be doing all of this?’ I tried Botox and didn’t really like it. Only have the odd facial. I do find it exhausting her constant pursuit of an ideal she’ll never find. I’d rather walk the dog and move my body and appreciate moments like this. X
This is in line with my recent ruminations about ageism in society. We say “old” as an insult and frequently use it in a self deprecating manner. It’s something we are ashamed about and want to hide, and as discussed here we have more tools than ever to do so.... if we have the $$. I am feeling very very confused not only about the options you talk about, but whether I see old as something to embrace or run from. I definitely don’t want to be back in my 20s or 30s- and i don’t want to lose any more of my life energy I have in my late 40s. Maybe that’s what this is all about? We don’t want to look tired? Is old unattractive?or is it low energy that is scary? Help!!
Oh it’s the low energy!! Even when I get all tizzied up I look in the mirror and think ‘I am just too tired for this’.
Oh Mia, I hear you! I am 61 and have always been told I "don't look my age" . But I think I've aged a lot in the past couple of years and do not like what I see in the mirror. I obsessively look at celebrities around my age and it depresses me. Intellectually, I know they are "tweaking" in all sorts of ways but, psychologically, it makes me feel very second rate. However, my ant-ageist self says to stay strong and ignore these women with their impossibly high (and unfair) standards. And remind myself that they all look the same....
Such hard work😩
I swing between obsessing over the person looking back at me in the mirror and them not looking how I want/expect them to look, and giving up and really not giving a shit! I love the wise words I heard in a Virgin River episode on the weekend!! - “Everyone gets to be young, but not everyone is lucky enough to grow old.” I am trying to live by that sentiment from now on and just enjoy the ride!
“Get older or be dead”, you could probably sell that one. 👏👏👏
This is so true and let me tell you it’s a battle I face every day as an owner of a skin clinic. I want to grow my business but I don’t want to pray on women’s vulnerabilities but also I need their money to survive and pay my employees and also the treatments we offer are amazing but do you really need them but also please have them and here is a serum that will change your life but it’s $280 but please buy the eye cream to go with it but really you’re beautiful just the way you are but also can I make your next appointment now and have you heard about mesotherapy it’s amazing but you just had Botox so wait a month first so just use the $280 serum in between and tell your friends about us! so on and so on and so on….
I’m 71 and I don’t look it. Does it matter to me? Yes it does. Ageism is alive and well out there. Plus I want to like what I see in the mirror. It’s an aesthetic thing. I stay slim and look after my skin. I do not spend a fortune. I got a facelift when I was sixty and had it done in Manila. I researched the hell out of it first and wrote copious emails to my plastic surgeon. I love the results and they’ve held up well. I buy serums mostly from The Ordinary brand. I wear a hair topper because my hair is thinning. I don’t do filler or Botox but I did get fat transfer when I got my facelift. I do low carb eating every few months for a few weeks to maintain my weight. I use Tretinoin.05% imported from an overseas chemist and have done for years. If you do one thing do that. I tell my age and take the risk of being judged as too old to matter but my youthful vibe and energy prove I’ve been blessed with good health and a good attitude. You do you and I’ll do me. It’s a choice we all have and my body while slim still shows the effects of 3 pregnancies. So be it - I can live with that.
So many choices. It’s going to be interesting times ahead when the choice of how we look may conflict with the ability to live in stable housing. Particularly as we age.
I have a definite line in the sand with the options I would choose as I age. Grey hair? not for me, or not at this stage of my life anyway. I am in my mid 50's and have quite a few friends who have happily gone grey and it looks great. I just think I would freak out and not recognise myself if I went grey. I am happy to be blonde. With regards to interventions, a sprinkle of botox a couple of times a year to blur the tired and angry lines is all I would do. I definitely do not make these choices to try to stop the clock and look decades younger. I have no desire to look anything other than myself.
I started going grey at 23 but didn’t stop dyeing my hair until I was 39. I’m now happily salt & pepper. But I use skincare to keep my skin looking nicer than what it would look like if I used nothing.
I’m happy to look my age but funnily over the weekend I seen someone I hadn’t seen in about 16 years & they told me “ I hadn’t changed” which made me feel really good. I must have been about 28 the last time I’d seen them which made me think that if I was so happy looking my age why did it make me feel good to be told I still look the way I did at 28?
I struggle less with my face than I do with my body. I’ve gained lots of weight this past year & while I don’t want to diet anymore I still find it hard to accept my larger body.
Being a woman is total mindfuck!
I’m currently slathering my body with Castor Oil lol. Feels like shit but my skin looks good!! I was hoping to care much less after turning fifty - and I do a bit - but where does it all stop??? And as for the weight - fuck dieting xxx
I was hoping I'd care less too, & I do care less but still not as little as I would like at age 44.
I concur👍💝